In Your Eyes

I am going to go out on a limb here and state that I often feel Valentine's day is an overly commercialized holiday. That being said, I love it. I love to see people in love and if for some reason this random day in February gives them an excuse to be all wrapped up in each other, go for it. My favorite part is the cards. Some make me want to vomit due to their sheer cheesy-ness, others make me warm and fuzzy inside and some are just plain hilarious.

Every year my mom and dad make a point to give my brothers and I Valentine's day cards. Though I opened the candy ahead of time, I actually managed to save my card for the actual day this year. I was (pleasantly) surprised at what I read.

There, at the bottom of the card, was the greatest thing I've ever been told: We are proud of who you are.

Whoever claimed that Hallmark says it best has clearly never met Butch and Ellen Belcher. This seemingly simple statement really got me thinking. How many of my younger years did I spend trying to be someone else? Trying to shed a few pounds, change my hair, buy trendy clothes. More than physical appearance, I will admit to having adopted the thoughts and opinions of others to fit in or be "cool." Somewhere in the transition from high school to college I really began to become comfortable in my faith and, through that, I found comfort in my own skin. I began to express my own thoughts and opinions and style and I found that I was accepted. (Gasp!) More than that, I was commended. People liked what I had to say. I found new meaning in songs like Bethany Dillon's "Beautiful" and Jonny Diaz's "More Beautiful You" and Livingstones' "Be Yourself."

I want to encourage you. Wherever you are in your life, whoever you've become, whatever you believe. Don't be afraid to be yourself because someone, somewhere will find beauty in your style and your thoughts and you as a person. Someone will be proud of who you are. And in your moments of doubt always remember... you are perfect in God's eyes and, let's be honest... His is the only opinion that matters.

Beautiful

This song always, ALWAYS, makes me feel one-thousand times better when I am feeling down on myself. Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem is something that everyone struggles with at some point or another and if you're there, read these lyrics. You are BEAUTIFUL and God loves you way more than you can ever imagine.

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Don't Tell Me I'm Not Good Enough, I'll Be My Own Judge

Sorry I've been away for a while! I have been rather busy and, until today did not have any profound thoughts I found blog-worthy. But then, like a ton of bricks, multiple things came into my mind during World Literature and now I've got lots of new material!

Recently I have found a new musical crush—I love his music, his looks, his voice and his lyrics. I really connect with his music. He is Benton Paul. I may have mentioned in a previous post that I tend to hear songs not to a person, boy or girl, as they may be intended but rather I hear them all as though the artist is singing to God. Benton Paul is no exception. Now, I'm not sure if he is religious at all or what his deal is but to me, his entire CD Grey is a big religious experience. And I cannot get enough. I have listened to it countless times in the last week or so since I purchased it. I do not have a favorite. I can not have a favorite. I am having a love affair with Benton Paul's Grey. 

(There is a point to this post more than my love of Benton Paul, I promise.)

One of his songs it called The Devil. Here are the opening lines:

Don't tell me I'm not good enough,

I'll be my own judge and

Don't tell me I won't make the cut

I'll be passing you up!

This just spoke to me as I listened earlier in the day. The title "the devil" in conjunction with the lyrics hit me—who's to say I'm not good enough? Who's to say I'm not cute enough? Who's to say I'm not smart enough? Who's to say I'm not thin enough? I thought about it and thought about it... God and myself are the only ones who can decide that. No one can tell me I can't do it. God is in control of my life and He has made me who I am, what I am, how I am. Anytime someone tells me I can't, that is the devil. Anytime I tell myself I can't, that is the devil. I am good enough. I am cute enough. I am smart enough. I am thin enough. I am perfect in God's eyes and really, that is all that matters. 

Hear me, I am good enough,

Don't need none of your love.

So thank you Benton Paul and thank you Jesus for teaching me this. Thank you for the new found self confidence.

... and for anyone and everyone who has doubted me, is doubting me and will doubt me I AM good enough and I don't need any of your love.